Yesterday, at a party…
a friend of a friend asked me a question that struck a nerve: "Why are you so obsessed with decentering men?" Her tone carried a not-so-subtle implication that maybe I am a bit extreme, a bit too focused on the wrong things.
That maaaaaybe… If what I really want is freedom, self-connection, and a better world, surely there were more direct paths than this silly, little (potentially harmful) conversation about decentering men?
I smiled, feeling the truth before the words came: Nope. While it may be counter-intuitive. This is the way.
Here’s Why
We all know them - the brilliant, powerful, creative women whose lives are spent in an invisible prison, organizing their precious time, energy, and attention around men. These are women who could be creating art, building transformational businesses, writing books, healing communities. Instead, they're caught in an exhausting dance of managing men's emotions, seeking their validation, dimming their light own to make men comfortable.
I know this prison intimately. I spent years in this matrix- ruining my life because of how I was centering men. SERIOUSLY. It dominated my waking hours, putting me in a constant fog of distraction that prevented me from seeing clearly. Not to mention disconnected me from myself, my power, my energy source. my gifts.
The true cost? Almost too vast to comprehend.
Layer after layer, I've been discovering how deeply the habit of centering men had embedded itself into every substrata of my existence:
The identity I crafted
The personality I presented
The desires I allowed myself to acknowledge
The way I moved through space
What I pursued
What I let wither
All of it—every single aspect—was unconsciously structured around my fears and desires regarding men. But the most profound loss was this: the inability to truly know myself.
Decentering men has transformed my life
It has empowered me to cultivate a life that emanates from my core truth rather than from my conditioning. To experience genuine connection with my own soul.
As I've learned to recenter myself, everything has shifted:
My relationship with the divine has deepened
My connection to the earth has become more sacred
My embodied aliveness has awakened
My friendships with women have blossomed
My family relationships have transformed
My interactions with men have become grounded in clarity and sovereignty rather than fear and performative femininity
Every day brings new revelations. Each layer shed—whether it's an old fear, a worn-out mask, or an outdated habit—reveals more of my authentic self. With each passing day, I feel more free, more sovereign, more... me.
This Space
I'm committed to creating a space where we can explore, grow, and transform together. Whether this resonates deeply, or rubs you the wrong way, both are welcome here. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
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With love, freedom & magic,
your Venus.in.Pisces
🌸